What is Relationship Wellness?
by Marcella Lyles
I think the question I get asked most often about what I do is “What is Relationship Wellness?”
Most people want a quick and easy answer and so I tell them that it’s having relationships that work well. The full answer is that Relationship Wellness is the overall holistic fitness, healthiness and effectiveness of ALL the key relationships in our lives. These relationships include (but are not limited to) our friendships, our coworkers, our family, our romantic/intimate relationships and even the relationship with ourselves. While some people have a lot of ideas about what relationships are, what they are worth, how they work and why they are important…there’s one thing that nearly everyone can agree on (regardless of what our relationships are) we want them to work and to work well. Relationships that work leave us invigorated, inspired and simply freed up to be out enjoying our lives.
Relationship Wellness includes education and experiences that give us the tool, skills and fully developed capabilities to ensure that what we communicate, share, create and focus on in our relationships brings out the best in everyone involved. By providing people a safe, supportive and comfortable space to explore what’s working in their relationships they are more likely to find ways to work with, work through and overcome the things at aren’t working or aren’t working as well as they would like. People have had enough time to focus on “what’s wrong”, “what they want to change” or “what they aren’t getting” out of their relationships. However, many times when this is where they put their energy, they just get more of the same. By putting effort towards fun…love…generosity…and caring (among other wonderful things) relationships are fortified with POSITIVE possibilities and outcomes.
By having those possibilities present in our lives, Relationship Wellness helps us create plans of action to fulfill on what we desire most. If you were trying to lose weight, would you beat yourself up about what you ate yesterday? Well, you could but it wouldn’t have anything to do with fulfilling on what you’re out to do in the future. What helps us to fulfill on the future is being constantly present to what we are doing TODAY to bring about what we desire. Another key element in Relationship Wellness is being connected to the reality that today is all we have…right now is all we get and what we are doing NOW is just as important as the outcomes we are working toward. When we can take a moment to appreciate, acknowledge and truly celebrate those moment to moment successes in our relationships and in our lives we find that we have a sense of happiness, completeness and pure joy! Relationship Wellness is the discovery of those nuggets of newness, gems of graciousness and actions that create aliveness that leave us loving well.
Marcella Lyles, M.Ed. is the CEO and Lead Relationship Wellness Consultant at The Loving Well, LLC. The Loving Well is a Relationship Wellness Company with the mission of helping WellBeings create relationships what leave them loving well. She teaches “Sexuality and Committed Relationships” (course #5423)  at CFU.